Chocolate Money Badgers/Transcript
(Episode begins at Oscar’s cabin at night) Oscar: The dragon storms down from the rocks, he picks up Princess Marshmallow in his terrifying grip, and he says... Pajamas : What does he say? Oscar: “Princess Marshmallow, I love you. Can’t you see that?!” Princess Marshmallow thinks for a second and then she says... she says! Susie : Lights out! Pajamas: “Lights out?” That’s pretty mysterious. Oscar: No, Pajamas. It’s Susie. Susie: Everyone turn your lights out! (Yeti sounds) Oliver : I wholeheartedly agree. Susie: I’ll be up for another hour cause I’m the Camp Counselor, but you have to go to bed now because you’re bay-bies! Moon : Did she just call me a baby? Because I’m pretty sure I’m older than her. Oscar: No, Moon. I’m the baby. Sighs Goodnight, Pajamas. Pajamas: her eyes Oscar! Hey Oscar! I’m too jazzed to sleep. Oscar: I know, Pajamas. Here. The camp guide will put you to sleep. You hate this thing! Pajamas: It’s so predictable! Oscar: Okay Yetis, Monsters... (Flashlight yawns) Oscar: Hurt Feelings, Cool Distracting Stuff... whoah! This page is missing! Pajamas, are you seeing this? Pajamas: I love you, Princess Marshmallow... Oscar: Laughs Snoring Alien : xylophone chimes (Oscar goes to Susie’s cabin) Oscar: sharply (Door twinkles) Susie: Muffled What do you want? Oscar: Hey Susie. So... (Chomp) Oscar: Wait a second. Are you brushing your teeth and eating breakfast at the same time? Susie: I don’t like wasting time. Speaking of which... Oscar: Oh, right! So I was looking through my camp guide last night and... Susie: What ripped out pages? Oscar: I didn’t say anything about ripped out pages. Susie: Don’t make me call lights out at 8:00 in the morning. Oscar: You wouldn’t dare. Susie: voice Wouldn’t I Twinkles (Susie turns daytime into nighttime) Oscar: Susie! Dumb Susie... Dumb ripped out pages. Howard : Whispering Hey, Oscar! Oscar: -Huh? Tree: Ohhhhhh! (Howard emerges out of a Tree's mouth) Howard: Hey, Oscar. Hey, come here. You wanna help me clean out the unicorn stable? I think you’ll find it “enlightening.” Oscar: Are you saying what I’m looking for is in the unicorn stables? Howard: voice I don’t know. Am I? (Oscar goes to the unicorn stables) Oscar: Ahh! There’s nothing here! Bubbles: twinkles Oscar: Gesundheit. I swear Bubbles, this is the last time I fall for Howard’s “help me clean out the stables” bit. Bubbles: Blows Oscar: You know? Gasps (Oscar finds a paper hat on Bubbles' head with writing that says “THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR”) Oscar: Ha-ha! This changes everything. Oscar: Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! This is higher than I thought. Hedgehog : I got you, Oscar. Oscar: Grunts Thanks, Hedgehog. Guess what? Max : You got a cool new hat? Oscar: This cool new hat is the answer to all our hopes and dreams! Hedgehog: What is it, Oscar? Oscar: It’s a page that was ripped out of the camp guide, and apparently, we can win merit badges for being good at camp activities. Six badges, we get an extra dessert. 10 badges, we get a scalp massage from a yeti! And for 50 badges, you get a trip to a secret chocolate water park, complete with chocolate money fountain. All: whoa! Pepper : whoa. (Kettle blows) Oscar: -So you guys wanna do it? Hedgehog: -Definitely. But how do we know if it’s working? Oscar: Hmm. (Badge falls from the sky) (Both gasps) Disembodied voice: ♫ You know about the badges! ♫ Oscar: “You know about the badges” badge! It’s working! Okay, guys, lets go get some badges. (Piano plays) (Triangle dings) (Snores yeti sound) (Twinkling) Hedgehog: Laughs Moon: Hedgehog don’t look at me while I’m dancing! Disembodied voice: ♫ Astronomy! ♫ (Alexa hits a softball with a bat) Disembodied voice: ♫ Softball! ♫ Pepper: Homerun. Disembodied voice: ♫ 2 hour nap! ♫ (Oscar jumps into Dr. P. Shark's pool) Disembodied voice: ♫ Swimming with sharks! ♫ Disembodied voice: ♫ Piano montage music! ♫ Oscar: Ok! So we got 6 badges! Not bad! Lucy : Okay, so if we keep this up, in 7 days, we’d get one chocolate pudding each? Pfft—- not worth it. Oscar: Or! We could pool our badges and get one chocolate pudding right now! All: Yeah! (Campers go to the witches) Susie: Laughs Twinkles Oh man, this tomato soup is going to be so good. Oscar: -Susie! Susie! Susie: -What are you doing here? Oscar: We want our extra chocolate pudding. Susie: Oh no. the “You know about the badges” badge and bends it downward It’s legit. Betsy : Then you have to give them the dessert, Susie. That’s the rules. Susie: You know sometimes I really hate you, Betsy. Betsy: -Here you go, Oscar. Oscar: -Thanks, Betsy! Susie: I was going to eat that for dinner. Oscar: And we’ll be back tomorrow for the scalp massage! (All munching) Hedgehog: Oscar, you genius! Oscar: Muffled Did you see the look on Susie’s face? I can’t wait for more prizes. (Transition to Susie's cabin) Susie: Susie, you buffoon. Did you see the look on Oscar’s face? We can’t let those babies get anymore prizes. These are our rewards! We deserve them! Alice : No we don’t. creaking Betsy: But Susie, Summer Camp law dictates that we have to give the kids prizes if they collect enough... badges. Susie: Well, then, we can’t let them get anymore badges then. Can we? Sock: Betsy! Pepper: Slurping Oscar: Pepper, you hit it out of the park yesterday with your two hour nap. Do you think you could go for the five now?! Pepper: Are you kidding?! I’m getting tired just watching you guys! Oscar: Easy peasy! Susie: Lemon squeezy. (Wands twinkle) Oscar: Hi, Tree! Tree: -Hi! Susie: You’re toast, Oscar. Literally. Butter! (Susie summons butter on the tree that Oscar is climbing) Oscar: Whoa! Alice: -Jello. (Alice turns the water in a lake into jello) Alexa: -Wahh! Betsy: Marshmallows. (Betsy turns Hedgehogs microscope into several Marshmallows) Hedgehog: -Whoa! Alice: Bubble gum. (A camera Oliver is holding turns into bubble gum) (Gum pops) Susie: -Confetti. Pepper: -Whoa! Susie: maniacally Spaghetti. (Susie produces strands of spaghetti from her wand, tangling Lucy) Lucy: Whoa! Oscar: We didn’t get any badges? I don’t get it. We did so well yesterday. Pepper: I don’t want to critique with your strategies Oscar, but covering me in exploding confetti really didn’t help with my REM cycle. Oscar: I didn’t cover you in exploding confe—- Susie. Susie: Prance, prance, prance. plays in headphones Ha cha cha! Ha cha cha! Ha cha cha! Oscar: Do you think I’m some kind of a fool? Susie: Oh. Yes! I’m sorry was that not clear? Because that’s on me. Oscar: Grunts I know you’re sabotaging us. I just can’t figure out why?! Like why does it matter if we get an extra dessert? Or a scalp massage? Or a... (Susie flips her hair, leaving chocolate coins to fall on the ground.) Oscar: Chocolate money fountain? Gasps Chocolate money fountain! You’ve been stealing all the prizes for yourself! Susie: And what are you gonna do about it —- Baby? Oscar: Everything. Oscar: Okay campers! Today we’re going to win as many badges as is humanly possible. Hedgehog: Oscar, we’re pretty exhausted. Why don’t we just hang out today? It’s just chocolate money. Oscar: This isn’t about the chocolate money anymore, Hedgehog. This is so much bigger than chocolate money. Hey Howard! Howard: What’s up little guy? (Oscar points upward) Howard: Okay. Here we go. (Howard lifts Oscar up) Oscar: Campers! Do you want to live in a world where you can only have one dessert for dinner?! Max, Hedgehog, and Alexa: No! Oscar: Do you want to turn your lights out whenever Susie tells you to? Oliver, Pepper, Max, Hedgehog, Lucy, and Alexa: No way! Oscar: Are you ready to take back the camp?! All: Yeah! Hedgehog: Oscar, let’s do this! Do you have a plan? Oscar: I do not have a plan! Max: -Whoo! Oscar: -Okay, plan, plan. Okay! Here’s what we need to do. Everyone will need to distract the witches while I break off and earn as many badges as possible. Hedgehog: They’re gonna notice you’re gone, Oscar. Oscar: Hmm. (Grunting, wands twinkling) (Campers play tug of war while getting pulled away by the witches into a stalemate) Susie: Ha! This is too easy. Hedgehog: I hope this works, Oscar! (Oscar pitches a tent) Disembodied voice: ♫ Wilderness Badge! ♫ Oscar: Yes! (Oscar swings around on a rope and brushes the top of a yeti’s head) Disembodied voice: ♫ Yeti Grooming! ♫ (Oscar steps into a body of water, getting a Loch Ness Monster to emerge and notice him) Disembodied voice: ♫ Saw a Loch Ness Monster! ♫ Oscar: hang gliding Hey, Moon! I made you a friendship bracelet! Moon: Gasps Ooh! Disembodied voice: ♫ Hang gliding! ♫ Disembodied voice: ♫ Friends with Moon! ♫ (Grunting continues, twinkling continues) (Susie looks at Oscar dummy intensely) Susie: Rahh! Grunting Camper (offscreen): No, no, no, no, no, no. Susie: Hyah! the Oscar dummy Panting Betsy: You knew he was fake? Susie: I was 50/50. Well ladies, looks like we’re just going to have to looking for the real one. twinkles Hedgehog: Oscar, she’s coming! (Wand twinkles) Oscar: Huh? Susie: Hey, dummy. Oscar: Oh, boy. Susie: You can’t outrun me, Oscar! beams from her wand Oscar: Ah! Ow! Susie: Laughs Disembodied voice: ♫ Hurdling! ♫ Oscar: -Yes! Susie: -No! (Puff) (Susie brings some nearby rocks to life) Oscar: Whoa, whoah, whoah, whoah. Susie: Is there a badge for letting all your friends get smashed by rocks, Oscar? Laughs (Rocks grunting) Oscar: Okay, plan, plan. I need a plan. I do not have a plan! Run, Hedgehog! Max: I’m sure he’s okay, Hedgehog. Oscar: I’m not okay! Susie: That might have been too many rocks. Rock: -Ah! Oscar: -Whoa! Susie: -Ughhh! Oscar: -Hi, Susie. Whoa! Ugh! Come on, come on. (Oscar uses a sash full of badges in hopes to stop the falling rocks) Oscar: Badges, you’re our only hope! (Rocks grunting) Rocks: Ahhhhhh! (Sash breaks) Oscar: We’re toast! Guys, run, run, run, run! Hedgehog: -Oscar! Oscar: -Hedgehog! Susie: Oscar! Hedgehog! Bored now. (Puff!) (The rocks fall asleep) Pepper: Wait. They’re stopping. Oscar: Oh, man. Whew. That’s great news. (Brooms zoom) Susie: You risked your life and your badges to try and save your friends? Ha! I win! I win! Oscar: Fine Susie, you win. Just like always. (Multiple badges start falling from above) Hedgehog: Oscar, look at all these badges! Oscar: Are they for failure? Hedgehog: No, they’re for bravery! There must be at least 100 badges here! Oscar: 100 badges?! That’s two trips to the chocolate money fountain! Pay up, Susie. Susie: Okay, you got me. Two trips to the chocolate money fountain coming right up. Betsy: Stop! You know what the real 100 badge award is. Susie: Scoffs Camp Counselor for a day?! You know sometimes I really hate you, Betsy. twinkles (Transition to chocolate money fountain) Oscar: Lights out! Lights out whenever you want! Then come over to my house for a pajama party! It’s a party for pajamas! Pajamas: Not you, Susie. Susie: That was implied. (Episode ends) Category:Transcripts